The dark creamy swirl of warm liquid. Coffee. A cool stream of water down your back on a hot day. Cold shower. Hitting snooze on the alarm clock because you do not have to go to work. Saturday.  Sometimes, you take a step back and enjoy the small pleasures in life. 

There is a lot of potential worry in the world with this pandemic, politics, and an uncertain economy. If you slow down, look around you, there are small joys in life to keep you motivated. It is important for your health and well-being to be able to find the positive during difficult times. Self-care through simple pleasures will make you a better partner, parent, and friend. 

The greatest joys in life, often have no real price tag.

You can sit on your porch and watch the sun come up.  You can volunteer at the local shelter and cook meals. You can Zoom with family and friends who may be many miles away.  You can listen to a podcast while stuck in traffic.  You can sit up at midnight journaling your wildest hopes and dreams. The options are limitless.

Take care of you. Fortify your soul. Then reach back and bring others along with you. Build a family or community of support during these trying times. We are in this together.

Try your hand at this week’s journal prompt:  Look around the space you are in. Find one thing that brings you pleasure or is a favorite item. Describe it in detail. How does it look, feel, smell, taste, sound? Now, give it a personality and write a fictional adventure in your journal.

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“Without action, you aren’t going anywhere.”  Mahatma Gandhi

With hope you can survive anything. With hope and action, you do not just survive but you thrive. Hope is believing without seeing. Take your hope and persevere towards a goal through action. Even when you do not know all the steps and obstacles up ahead, take one step at a time.

Through journaling you can record daily motivational messages to keep your hope strong. Whether the nuggets of wisdom come from you, family, or unsung heroes – it does to matter. Write it down and let it seep into your soul. Then back it up with action.

The same journal can be used to make 30, 60, 90-day plans in career, family, personal growth, etc. The trick is that the journal is for your eyes only. It does not matter if you make little mistakes or are unsure about what you tell yourself. Keep it positive. Make little adjustments. Consistently work towards your goals. Let hope lull you to sleep. Allow action to wake you up full of passion and energy. Whether it takes you one week, one month, or one year – believe in yourself.

Here is your journal prompt for the week:  My hope today is…  Tomorrow, my next step towards this wish, will be…

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Stoplights. Thunderstorms. Pandemics. At times, life pauses and we have the opportunity breathe in the moment. We can sit down for a bit and and really look at our life. What is working? What is not working? What are our next steps?

Having time to self-reflect is a powerful gift. Most of us spend every waking minute of our lives on the go. We jump out of bed, grab a cup of coffee, and race to work. A friend calls us, we throw on our best outfit, and run to happy hour. Our family, friends, and coworkers need us.

Respect the pause. Whether your life is on hold by choice or by force—just sit down for a minute.

Real self-reflection is when you take an honest look at your life without judgment. There is no good or bad. You see where you have been, where you are now, and where you want to be in the future. It is an opportunity to silence the noise. Deep down how are YOU feeling? What do YOU want? How do YOU spend most of your time?

It can be difficult to hear our inner voice when we are constantly absorbing messages from different people and situations. Family says one thing. A partner may say something else. A favorite news station can deliver the opposite message. We can forget who we are and what is important to us in life.

At the next stoplight, check in with yourself. Ask, what do I hope to achieve at my next destination? During the next thunderstorm, do a forgotten activity that brings you joy. If you are still on pause during the pandemic, grab your journal, and draft plan B for the next 3-6months.

Here is your writing prompt for this week:  What is absolutely, necessary and what can I let go?

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We are living in trying times. It is normal to feel difficult emotions. There are different strategies for releasing fear in a way that is healthy and positive. Believe in the power of the pen.

Recognize the sense of fear. After a certain point in life, many of us never say out loud that we are afraid. We are used to children expressing difficult feelings after having a nightmare, seeing a big spider, or watching a scary movie. Adults typically ignore it, bury it, or run from it. Accept that things happen in life outside of our control. It can be scary as hell.

Look at the history of your fear. You can write this down. Ask yourself:  Have I ever felt this fear before? How do I really feel (mentally and/or physical)? What am I actually afraid of? Loss? Disappointment? Being Alone?

Fear creates opportunity. When you feel difficult emotions, it can be hard to see it as an opportunity. Feeling fear is not a fun experience. However, every struggle we have in life is an opportunity to come out stronger and braver.

Journaling is a great way to express and release fear. Writing is limitless. There is no required word count for journaling. Writing has no judgement. Your journal is for your eyes only. Spouses, family, and friends do not need to read your journal. Writing can take any form. You can make up random words to suit your emotions. If you want to do an abstract doodle, that’s fine too. Maybe you feel inspired to rhyme and write in song. When you journal, you are in charge.

Face the fear. Write it out. Release it. Once you put it to paper, you no longer need to ruminate. Stop the overthinking! Redirect your thoughts to finding a solution or positive next steps.

Here is journal prompt #104:  Make a list of 25 things that make you smile. Then snap a picture of your smile. Tuck it away in your journal. Put in on your bathroom mirror. Or if you are feeling bold, text it to a good friend and start a light conversation.

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Life by definition involves changes. Nothing last forever. Impermanence is a fact. When you find yourself in the valley, love yourself through it.

The real danger of being in the valley is believing there is no way out. There is a way out, it just might take time. The myth of being in the valley is thinking you are alone. Everybody finds themselves in the valley from time to time, they just might not tell you about it. The illusion of being in the valley is that it only happens one time. Once you accept that it is part of life, you embrace the highs, and remember the lessons to cope next time you are low.

What is love in the valley?  Ask for help as you need it, whether it is family or a paid professional. Maintain healthy boundaries with others. If you are not up to that community event, do not go. Create positive routines around sleep, diet, and exercise. Everything is harder when you are tired, hungry, or achy. Venting difficult emotions is also love in the valley. You can journal, sing, garden, cook, make art – you decide whatever it is that makes you feel lighter.

Use this week’s journal prompt to help you ride the highs and lows of life:

I love myself enough to make and keep this promise…

Today, I will set healthy boundaries by…

This week, I will reach out and talk to…

This month, I will set a plan for better sleep by…

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Inspiration.

What is it? Where do we find it?

Most of the time we are given a writing assignment as part of a mundane project or to accomplish a goal. Perhaps the boss needs you to draft a PowerPoint presentation. Perhaps an instructor requires you to write an essay. Maybe you are opening for a civic event in your neighborhood. It is the heart and personality we inject into our writing that makes it come alive.

Brainstorm. Inspiration can be found in the sunset. Inspiration can be found in a 90’s tune on YouTube.  Hot coffee on a chilly afternoon can bring good feelings. Feel what you feel and write down the words and phrases that come to mind. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or punctuation. Then pick the best tidbits to build your story.

Read the works of other writers. Lighten the mood and read a comic strip in the newspaper. Explore and read an article from a new magazine. Or if you really have the time, check out a book on short stories from the local library. There is no magic formula. Don’t try too hard.

Review examples of art. Works of art can be found online and offline. If you’re lucky, you might have art galleries or museums in your community.   There are online marketplaces where you can browse art for inspiration. You may even try a happy hour painting session after work. There are options to suit one’s taste.

In the end, give yourself time. There is no right or wrong method to finding inspiration to write. Satisfy the requirements for the writing assignment. Then find a way to bring it to life and put your personal stamp on it.

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“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” ― Dalai Lama

Distractions. Did that cashier roll her eyes? I wanted that parking spot, now he has it. I hate waiting in line at DMV. There are tons of distractions in the world today that can throw you off track. The key to survival is to set positive intentions. Put on angelic blinders to ignore the small stuff and set a strong focus.

Normally, the idea of putting on blinders has a negative connotation. But in this context, you must do it! Family, friends, and co-workers are dealing with COVID-19, an uncertain economy, and other stressors you may or may not know about. Focus on YOU. Make sure you have your sh*t together.  IGNORE small irritations that you cannot change.

If you are a night owl, set your daily intentions before you go to bed. If you are a morning person, set your daily intentions when you first wake up. Basically, all that matters during times of stress is maintaining food, shelter, clothing, and gas in your car or funds for public transportation. Take care of your own needs for survival first. When you are strong and stable, reach back and help others. You cannot help anybody if your “cup is empty.”

Use this week’s journal prompt #119 to help you get started:

There are limited hours in one day. Today, the top three things I must accomplish are…

This week, it is necessary that I accomplish the following tasks for peace and stability…

In the next 30 days, my household will be stronger if I satisfy these five goals…

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In many parts of the world, businesses and schools are reopening. We want change. We want freedom.  It can be a busy time. It can be a stressful time.  Be careful about griping to other people who have their own lives to manage. Write it down!

Choose a journal that inspires you. Do not choose a journal that is so fancy and expensive that you do not want to write in it. Pick a reasonable size. If it is too big, you cannot easily carry it around. If it is too small, your writing might be cramped or a strain to read. Choose a paper journal. With a paper journal you do not need to boot up, recharge, or download when you feel inspired to write.

Date your journal entry. When the time is right, you might decide to reread your thoughts. With a date, you can reflect on your evolution, grand adventures, or repeating cycles in your life.

Tell the truth….at least to yourself. In life we have different roles to play—husband, mother, sister, nephew, employee, friend, etc. At times, we might present a certain face to navigate the waters. In your journal, tell the truth. If you feel angry—say you are angry. If you feel sad—talk about why. If you feel like king of the mountain—brag and brag until your heart is content.

Write down the details of the situation or location. Use the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, hear, and taste.

Write a lot or write a little. No one is going to see the writing unless you choose to share.  It is all about you. Write in prose, poetry, or even try a word collage. You decide.

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The dark creamy swirl of warm liquid. Coffee. A cool stream of water down your back on a hot day. Cold shower. Hitting snooze on the alarm clock because you do not have to go to work. Saturday.  Sometimes, you take a step back and enjoy the small pleasures in life. 

There is a lot of potential worry in the world with this pandemic, politics, and an uncertain economy. If you slow down, look around you, there are small joys in life to keep you motivated. It is important for your health and well-being to be able to find the positive during difficult times. Self-care through simple pleasures will make you a better partner, parent, and friend. 

The greatest joys in life, often have no real price tag.

You can sit on your porch and watch the sun come up.  You can volunteer at the local shelter and cook meals. You can Zoom with family and friends who may be many miles away.  You can listen to a podcast while stuck in traffic.  You can sit up at midnight journaling your wildest hopes and dreams. The options are limitless.

Take care of you. Fortify your soul. Then reach back and bring others along with you. Build a family or community of support during these trying times. We are in this together.

Try your hand at this week’s journal prompt:  Look around the space you are in. Find one thing that brings you pleasure or is a favorite item. Describe it in detail. How does it look, feel, smell, taste, sound? Now, give it a personality and write a fictional adventure in your journal.

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We all make mistakes. Sometimes we need to give forgiveness. Sometimes we need to receive forgiveness.

Holding on to grudges because of perceived wrongs can make us sick mentally or physically.  At times, hurt is part of life. A parent may criticize us. A partner may cheat. That co-worker might steal your best project idea.  We have no real control over the behavior of other people. However, we do have control over our reactions.

It is easy to hold a grudge. Some people are naturally more grudge-holding than others. We also feel more anger and resentment when we love or trust the person who betrays us. To reach a state of forgiveness you may have to work at it.

Real forgiveness is letting go of the resentment and need for revenge against another person.

You might always remember the hurtful action, but forgiveness releases you from being under someone else’s control. It is not an excuse for the betrayal. Forgiveness is the path to more peace, stability, and joy in life.

Journaling is a great way to develop forgiveness for ourselves and those around us. You can write a letter to the person in your journal. In the letter, you tell it like it is. Explain very clearly what hurt you and how you feel about it.  Vent everything you want to receive to feel better. Get it off your chest. If you can communicate with the person who betrayed you, the letter can be talking points to resolve the conflict.

If you are the one who needs to receive forgiveness, you can write down your thoughts and feelings about what you did and why. When you write, explain all the messy details of your actions. No one will see it. You can come back to the journal as often as you need to. Hopefully, one day you can go to the person you offended and give a genuine apology. However, be mindful, that just because you give an apology, the other person may not “hear it” or accept it. But you will have done your best to reconcile.

Use this week’s journal prompt to reflect on the need to let go of grudges. In life, there are misunderstandings— large and small.

Prompt #108:  In your opinion, how would forgiveness change world politics?

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“Without action, you aren’t going anywhere.”  Mahatma Gandhi

With hope you can survive anything. With hope and action, you do not just survive but you thrive. Hope is believing without seeing. Take your hope and persevere towards a goal through action. Even when you do not know all the steps and obstacles up ahead, take one step at a time.

Through journaling you can record daily motivational messages to keep your hope strong. Whether the nuggets of wisdom come from you, family, or unsung heroes – it does to matter. Write it down and let it seep into your soul. Then back it up with action.

The same journal can be used to make 30, 60, 90-day plans in career, family, personal growth, etc. The trick is that the journal is for your eyes only. It does not matter if you make little mistakes or are unsure about what you tell yourself. Keep it positive. Make little adjustments. Consistently work towards your goals. Let hope lull you to sleep. Allow action to wake you up full of passion and energy. Whether it takes you one week, one month, or one year – believe in yourself.

Here is your journal prompt for the week:  My hope today is…  Tomorrow, my next step towards this wish, will be…

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Practicing gratitude is an extremely effective tool for coping during a crisis. Regularly expressing thankfulness also helps you ride the peaks and valleys in life.  There are different ways to express feeling blessed. Gratitude journaling will deliver most if not all the benefits.

The dictionary definition of gratitude states: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Simply put, whether you are having a good day or bad day, you find a few things to appreciate in your life. You can be thankful that you woke up in good health, when others may be struggling. You can be thankful for having food in the refrigerator, when others do without. You can be grateful for having access to family through technology, when others live in a drop zone.

Journaling every day is a great habit to start. Expressing gratitude through writing has a wealth of benefits. For example, you may experience the following:

1. Boost your long-term well-being, encouraging exercise, reducing physical pain and symptoms, and increasing both length and quality of sleep
2. Increase your optimism and, indirectly, your happiness and health
3. Make you friendlier, more open, and expand your social support network
4. Help you make progress toward your goals

Gratitude journaling requires very little resources. There are free mobile apps where you can log your daily appreciation. Every day pick three things you are grateful for – no matter how large or small. Express what you are grateful for and the “because.” Adding the why is very important and sparks your “feel good” brain center.

Are you ready to try it? Here we go…

Journal Prompt #103:  What is a popular song that you enjoy? And why do you like it?

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Do you ever feel pulled in different directions? Your family wants this. Your job wants that. The kids are buzzing around needing this AND that. Sometimes, just sometimes, the stress and anxiety you feel in life has nothing to do with you. It is OTHER people’s crap! Learn to drop it.

First sign of crap:  Every time you are around a certain person or situation you feel tense. If you can wake up feeling good, then flip a switch when you meet a certain person—it is NOT you. The person you are dealing with has a certain energy. Maybe there was a previous incident. Maybe they communicate in a difficult manner. Find a mutual friend to help bring you two together. Or limit your time with this person if you cannot pinpoint the source of conflict.

Second sign of crap:  Your stomach hurts. Some people are very stoic. They carry themselves through life. They carry whole tribes on their back and never say a word. If you find that your digestion is off every time you are in a certain situation, it is NOT you. The environment you are in is not healthy for you. Speak up. Ask for help. Or drop it and lighten your load.

Third sign of crap:  You frequently get robbed in tangible and intangible ways. Sometimes you meet snake charmers. These are people who smile and are very charismatic. However, every time you around this person you lose something. You lose time. You lose money. You lose power. You find yourself saying yes to things you should not be doing. It is NOT you. You are dealing with someone who is great at manipulation. Run, run far away.

The best way to prevent getting sucked into other people’s crap is to “know thy self.” Know what you will and will not stand for. Learn to say no in diplomatic ways. Build healthy, personal boundaries. Set aside time to be alone and turn off the noise. When you are always around other people, you constantly take in their energy and opinions. It is good to sit in the silence and reconnect with yourself. You may do this through journaling, meditation, gaming, gardening, etc. Pick an activity you enjoy and can perform solo.

Here is journal prompt #116:  The last time I sat in silence, I discovered…

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Stoplights. Thunderstorms. Pandemics. At times, life pauses and we have the opportunity breathe in the moment. We can sit down for a bit and and really look at our life. What is working? What is not working? What are our next steps?

Having time to self-reflect is a powerful gift. Most of us spend every waking minute of our lives on the go. We jump out of bed, grab a cup of coffee, and race to work. A friend calls us, we throw on our best outfit, and run to happy hour. Our family, friends, and coworkers need us.

Respect the pause. Whether your life is on hold by choice or by force—just sit down for a minute.

Real self-reflection is when you take an honest look at your life without judgment. There is no good or bad. You see where you have been, where you are now, and where you want to be in the future. It is an opportunity to silence the noise. Deep down how are YOU feeling? What do YOU want? How do YOU spend most of your time?

It can be difficult to hear our inner voice when we are constantly absorbing messages from different people and situations. Family says one thing. A partner may say something else. A favorite news station can deliver the opposite message. We can forget who we are and what is important to us in life.

At the next stoplight, check in with yourself. Ask, what do I hope to achieve at my next destination? During the next thunderstorm, do a forgotten activity that brings you joy. If you are still on pause during the pandemic, grab your journal, and draft plan B for the next 3-6months.

Here is your writing prompt for this week:  What is absolutely, necessary and what can I let go?

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Comparing yourself to other people is a great way to make yourself feel terrible. Stop doing it!

Before COVID-19, our self-comparison may have centered around wealth, status, and beauty.  Now, we struggle with our partners, family, and friends trying to decide who is more miserable. Understand this – everybody has a sad story.

Everybody has struggled privately or publicly. There is no hierarchy.    

When you compare yourself to someone and feel inferior, that really sucks. When you compare yourself to someone and feel superior, you are alone at the top. Today, we can all make a choice to grow. Self-love and self-respect are an antidote. We don’t need to have internal competition with the people around us. When you are happy with #1, you don’t need to overanalyze what other people are doing in their lives.

Redirect your self-talk and outward expression.  Give words of encouragement to someone you see is struggling. Say thank you for small acts of kindness. Show empathy to someone expressing difficult emotions.  In different parts of our nation, COVID-19 restrictions are gradually being lifted. Step outside into the sun. Bring someone special with you. It is okay to smile and feel a sense of renewed freedom.

Grab your laptop, notepad, or phone to record the progress you have made. Here is this week’s journal prompt:

What is unconditional love? How does it look or feel to you?

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Have you ever felt the sting of injustice? This week’s blog post has real-world secrets for navigating unethical people and situations. After reading this post, please use your power of persuasion for good, not evil.

“The world is an ugly place.” You have probably heard this before. We can all see the TV ads for lawsuits against talcum powder cancer, childbirth mishaps, and car accidents. Everybody wants to sue. Everybody wants justice. I am a VICTIM!

If there has been no real physical or financial injury, you do NOT have a court case. The best justice is prevention, reading early warning signs, and DISCRETION. Never tell someone who is ugly to you, that they are ugly. The person will work that much harder to be petty and throw down unnecessary obstacles.

When faced with the devil, kill her with kindness. Discreetly navigate around predatory people.

If you get a sloppy meal in a restaurant, do not complain to the waiter. Do not give them time to prepare another meal with a side of spit. Smile and say, “no thanks.” Try another restaurant. If you have a backstabbing coworker stealing your best ideas, change how you share your ideas. Instead of brainstorming with individuals, keep it to yourself, polish it, then share in team meetings. Put the grand idea in writing. If you are looking to buy a property, you have proven written qualifications, and there is real estate discrimination – do not waste your time getting a lawyer. Larger companies know the laws better than you. Take your case to the consumer alert department of your local news station. Most businesses hate bad publicity and will work with you to resolve the issue privately.

Use your power of persuasion for good, not evil. Do not complain about people and systems because you are having a bad day, or your favorite TV show was canceled. There are supposed to be challenges in life that we grow through. But when faced with a real INJUSTICE—stand up for yourself, navigate around, and SMILE.

Here is this week’s journal prompt: 

Describe a time when you stood up for the underdog in your family, community, or workplace.

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He loves me. He loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not.

Love of self eliminates the need to be approved and accepted by others. You can just BE.

What is self-love? When you love yourself, you accept your strengths and weakness. You can always strive to be better, but perfection is an illusion. Sometimes all hell breaks loose, and things get messy. But that is part of life. You laugh it off. You cry and get tissue. You get mad and scream in your car. But then you bounce back and keep at it.

Having love of self, also means you understand that the world does not owe you anything. It is not another person’s responsibility to make you happy or entertain you. Do not expect someone to make radical changes to accommodate you and your desires. You have the power obtain your own happiness.

How do you develop self-love? At some point, you take a hard look at who you are in life. What makes you strong? What makes you falter? Then balance the line between what is healthy and excessive. Setting boundaries around difficult people and difficult situations is important. Some challenges in life are necessary, but if a person or situation regularly upsets you, cut them out.

Create the opportunity for daily pleasures. You can love dark chocolate and have a bite after dinner. But you might not want to eat a whole bar, every day, indefinitely. Try the decadent hand cream that comes in the tiny jar.  You might not use it every day, all day long, but maybe slather it on before bed. See the sunrise on a Sunday morning. However, it may not be something you can commit to every day with work, family, etc. Start small, carve out the time, enjoy daily pleasures.

Ready to write? Here is your journal prompt #113:  Make a list of 25 activities you love, want more of, and look forward to it. This is your “menu” of daily pleasures.  Everything in moderation.

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There is perception and there is truth. We often write grand “stories” about ourselves and the people around us—to be retold over and over again in our minds. The stories often skew towards the negative. Our ancestors survived with a grand sense of pessimism towards the unknown or one bad experience. Don’t eat those purple berries, they might make you sick!

Nowadays, we often develop fantasies when dealing with other people.  In these illusions, we are quick to make ourselves the hero and the stranger a villain. Sometimes, just sometimes, there is nothing there. Outside the lives of celebrities, gurus, and world leaders, we are mostly ordinary people. We have our good days. We have bad days. Life is a series of peaks and valleys. 

Perception is how we choose to see things. Perception cannot be proven true or not true.  It is what makes the most sense to us. We feel very comfortable with an idea even when it inspires difficult emotions.

Dropping the illusion and seeing the truth of a matter, can be challenging. Truth can be ordinary. Truth can be strange. Truth can be funny. When it feels impossible to find the truth, or you simply do not have the detective tools, walk away. Harsh words are not needed. Wild accusations are not needed. Do not feel a need to rally the troops (friends) and get everybody on your side. Just walk away. Let go of the need to be right. Hang on to the reality that we are all plodding along looking for a happiness that can be defined in 101 ways.

Here is this week’s journal prompt #112:

The last time I laughed, was __________________.

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In the world, we are slowly recovering from a pandemic. In the USA, we are exploring reform to stop racial injustice. Everybody has an opinion on how to bring about change. March here. Donate there. Tweet that.

Be a ROLE MODEL. If you care about your community and want to stop the spread of COVID-19, wear a mask every time.  If you believe in racial equality, do not flinch when a person of color doesn’t smile through an offense. Sit down. Listen. Hear what he/she has to say.

Do what you can as you can. It does not really require you to spend to spend money if you don’t have the finances. It doesn’t require you to step out in the streets if you have children or vulnerable family at home. Don’t minimize the need for revolution down to a social media tweet or post.

Start SMALL. Get really clear about what you believe. Explore your faith, values, and desires for the kind of nation you want to live in. Write it down! Use a journal to address every issue in your community that bothers you.

Next, outline a vision of that hero beating the challenges. What would this person do every day, every week, and every month? Do not edit yourself. Get it all down on paper. Now you need to realize, YOU are that hero. You are the person that can take a stand in large and small ways.

If you see an injustice, speak on it, write about it, go to the other person, and ask, “Are you okay?” If you see someone bullied in the workplace, don’t join in, don’t turn a blind eye. Behind the scenes, maybe you help that person proofread an important memo. Maybe you invite your neighbor over for dinner, who has just lost his job.

The options are endless. It is up to you. This is how we ALL take a stand. Use this week’s journal prompt to find your inner hero.

Journal Prompt #111:  Use your imagination to draft a recipe for peace as you see it. What are the “ingredients,” cooking tools, and directions for serving a group?

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