Welcome to the final installment of the three-part series on assertive communication. In the first post, we defined assertive communication. In the second post, we helped you clearly define your needs and wants that need to be communicated. In this final post, we are comparing assertive communication to passive and aggressive so you can avoid the pitfalls and recognize the red flags in others.
During passive communication, a person prioritizes the needs, wants, and feelings of others, even at their own expense. The person does not express their own needs, or does not stand up for them. This can lead to being taken advantage of, even by well-meaning people who are unaware of the passive communicator’s needs and wants.
· Soft spoken / quiet · Allows others to take advantage · Prioritizes needs of others · Poor eye contact / looks down or away · Does not express one’s own needs or wants · Lack of confidence
Through aggressive communication, a person expresses that only their own needs, wants, and feelings matter. The other person is bullied, and their needs are ignored.
· Easily frustrated · Speaks in a loud or overbearing way · Unwilling to compromise · Use of criticism, humiliation, and domination · Frequently interrupts or does not listen · Disrespectful toward others
Assertive communication emphasizes the importance of both peoples’ needs. During assertive communication, a person stands up for their own needs, wants, and feelings, but also listens to and respects the needs of others. Assertive communication is defined by confidence, and a willingness to compromise.
· Listens without interruption · Clearly states needs and wants · Willing to compromise · Stands up for own rights · Confident tone / body language · Good eye contact
You can start today practicing these tips and suggestions to be a great communicator and live a life of win-win situations with family, friends, and co-workers.
NEXT STEPS: Check out the previous posts on assertive communication. Like, share, or follow the blog.
©Indigo Stone 2023