Too often we look to family, friends, and co-workers to fill us up and make us feel loved. We look outside ourselves for validation that we matter. The path to self-love begins with creating internal boundaries that give us space to be our own best friend, lover, and hero.
There are several signs that you need better internal boundaries. People-pleasing is a big sign and most common sign. This is when you give and give to others with the expectation that others will give to you when you need it. Then when you do not receive that support, you are angry, resentful, or worse depressed.
Another sign you need better internal boundaries is over apologizing for things outside your control. If a friend invites you to a happy hour, you cannot make it due to a job conflict, then you gush with apologies or negotiate a way to make it up to him or her. As you negotiate for forgiveness, you feel a sense of doom that the friendship will end.
A third sign you need to improve your internal boundaries is choosing to spend time with a specific person, group of people, or place that gives you constant anxiety—but you keep going back. Often, your intuition whispers to you that a situation is not good for you through constant anxiety, a sense of dread, or regular body aches and pains.
Once again, the solution to resolving needless angst is developing healthy internal boundaries that wrap you in the warm, safe glow of self-love.
NEXT STEPS: Come back next week for the steps to building internal boundaries.
©Indigo Stone 2022