Welcome to part 2 of self-love: set internal boundaries.
Happiness is an inside job. In this life, you are responsible for identifying what you need to feel loved, safe, and appreciated. When you stop relying on other people and situations outside your control, you are free to soar.
The first suggestion to setting healthy internal boundaries is knowing your hard limits. Give yourself permission to say “no” and walk away from situations that do not serve you well. Whether is it the friend asking to borrow money, the rude grocery store clerk, or even the crowded shopping mall making you feel a ton of anxiety—you can decide to say “no” and walk away. A tool that works for some, is to have a very elaborate internal dialogue discussing the pros and cons of the uncomfortable person or situation. Pause for a second and think about it. This may sound silly, but nobody can hear you. Nobody can judge you. And no, you are not crazy.
The second step to building internal boundaries is to trust yourself. No matter the day, week, season, you are a person of value and equal to all others. Identify and prioritize your needs. Then, organize your life, literally and figuratively. It could be something as simple as getting a rewards card for your daily coffee break at Starbucks. It could be giving away all the clothes that no longer fit from 10 years ago and hanging your favorite go-to outfits in the closet. Maybe you get a sound machine for a good night’s sleep when the neighbor’s dog spends the night howling at the moon. You decide what is important and act on it.
An important foundation to self-love is accepting that you have your own thoughts and beliefs independent of others. You have the power to shape these beliefs without needing approval from others. Opinions can inform your choices, but someone else does not decide for you. A free tool to use is positive affirmations. Whether you find them on your phone, laptop, or paperback book, there is something out there for every personality. Use affirmations daily, weekly, or every three hours. Your choice.
These are a few suggestions to setting internal boundaries based on self-love. There is more to come.
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©Indigo Stone 2022