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In work, love, life, you need to know when to stand up for yourself. People-pleasing is exhausting, and it is a dead-end life. Know your worth. Have positive assertive communication. Receive what you need to be happy, healthy, and whole.
Here’s how you can effectively say no:
1. Say it.
Don’t beat around the bush or offer weak excuses or hem and haw. This only provides an opening for the other person. Don’t delay or stall either. Provide a brief explanation if you feel you need to; however, don’t feel compelled. The less said the better.
2. Be assertive and courteous.
You might say, “I’m sorry I can’t right now but will let you know when and if I can.” This approach is polite and puts you in a position of power by changing the dynamic. You’re taking charge, telling people you’ll let them know when and if you can. Another example, “I appreciate your asking me for help, but I’m stretched too thin right now to devote the time to be of quality help to you.”
3. Understand peoples’ tactics.
Many people and organizations use manipulation techniques, whether knowingly or not. For example, think about when you get a solicitation for a donation to a charity and there are forced options: “Would you like to donate $10, $20, $30, or X amount?” Another tactic: “Most people donate $20–how much would you like to donate?” This relies on social pressure.
4. Set boundaries.
People sometimes have a tough time saying no because they haven’t taken the time to evaluate their relationships and understand their role within the relationship. When you truly understand the dynamic and your role, you won’t feel as worried about the consequences of saying no. You’ll realize that your relationship is solid and can withstand your saying no.
5. Put the question back on the person asking.
This is highly effective in a work situation. Let’s say a supervisor is asking you to take on several tasks–more than you can handle. You might say, “I’m happy to do X, Y, and Z; however, I would need three weeks, rather than two, to do a good job. How would you like me to prioritize them?”
Source: Inc. Newsletters
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©Indigo Stone 2022
