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“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.” – William Shakespeare, Othello
Jealousy is a very destructive and toxic emotion another person can have for you. It can feel illogical and persistent if you are dealing with someone who does not know how to assertively communicate their challenges. However, there are strategies you can use to navigate. Here are the next four out of six tips.
Mastering your emotions in life is a mark of maturity. You do not have control over the people and situations that arise in your life, but you do have control over how you respond to them. People are very, very sensitive to other people’s anger that may lead to an uncomfortable confrontation. When you are away from home or on the job, an over-the-top expression of negative emotions might cost you your job. In a place of business, an over-the-top negative emotion may have you ejected or denied services. On the news, we see enough people on planes, trains, and automobiles who do not master their emotions and cause serious problems for others.
In this life you need to know how to be your own best friend, lover, and cheer leader. Never be codependent on others for your happiness. If you are able bodied and can work, do not be codependent on others for your food, shelter, and clothing. Learn how to navigate life with healthy adult coping strategies that do not require you to be a burden to family, friends, or co-workers. It is okay to have relationships where you occasionally confide in others, but do not use other people as a crutch. Learn how to sit in silence and be alone with yourself. When you develop self-love and self-respect, you can do this without feeling a sense of lack.
Cut relationships that no longer serve you
At times, there are people with whom you will clash. It might be an open clash where you have verbal disagreements and misunderstandings. Or it might be a more subtle mismatch where you always feel drained after spending time with a certain person. Whatever the case, it is important to know when to cut ties to toxic people and situations. Some may tell you that a toxic person is not necessarily a bad person, you just have different values and communication style. Other times you grow and develop as a person and the old circle just does not fit any longer. Learn how to respectfully cut relationships that no longer serve you. The key is to be respectful, so the person does not come back with vengeance.
Cultivate connections with positive like-minded people
If you find someone or a group of people who motivate you and encourage you, maintain the connection. During this time of division, it is very difficult to find another person that sees you for you and understands you and wants the best for you. If you find this person, do whatever it takes to maintain the connection and grow the connection within reason. Casual check-ins, coffee dates, lunch dates, friendly texts and emails go a long way. Discover what the other person prefers, respect healthy boundaries, and enjoy finding an ally.
Next Steps: Do you want more tips and strategies? Check out RL Collins’ latest self-help book, “The Hard Work of Happiness: 50 Life Lessons.”
