Master Your Emotions

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

— Maya Angelou

Mastering your emotions in life is a mark of maturity. You do not have control over the people and situations that arise in your life, but you do have control over how you respond to them. People are very, very sensitive to other people’s anger that may lead to an uncomfortable confrontation. When you are away from home or on the job, an over-the-top expression of negative emotions might cost you your job. In a place of business, an over-the-top negative emotion may have you ejected or denied services. On the news, we see enough people on planes, trains, and automobiles who do not master their emotions and cause serious problems for others.

Mastering your emotions is not ignoring your emotions. Emotions, especially negative emotions, are red flags that there is a problem. However, as a mature adult, you must identify the problem and resolve the problem peacefully. The worst thing to do during a difficult situation with other people is to escalate it to a literal or figurative 911 emergency. When you speak through heated emotions, people rarely hear what you are saying, they just feel the negative energy being blasted in their direction. Be careful what you say and do in public places especially when you feel a sense of anger.

Delaying action is typically the best thing to do when you are confronted with a person or situation that causes you rage or anger. Take a step back and just breath. If you are dealing with a total stranger, you really do not know where the other person is coming from. You might be upset over a misunderstanding or disagreement. If the person pushing your buttons is someone well known to you, you might be upset with a sense of repetitive action that has frustrated you in the past and not properly addressed and resolved. Either way, when you are feeling strong emotions and it is not a matter of life or death— take a pause.

During the pause, consider the facts, consider the “gut feelings,” and think how you can help and not hurt the situation at hand. Then wait. If you can, wait 24 hours before acting in a situation that has caused strong emotions. In 24 hours, you might need to address the situation tactfully or in 24 hours you might see it was a temporary small upset. Either way, when you are out in public and experiencing any kind of strong emotions, always maintain a tactful approach. Calmly state the issue through the appropriate channels and wait for a resolution.

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